Miss Manners On Wedding Etiquette For Brides

The most renowned Miss Manners, Emily Post has now been followed by a lot of other people who have become specialists in the field and have themselves become Miss Manners on Wedding Etiquette. Presented here, are a few tips which would help all you blushing brides out there to get a grip on the Miss Manners you need to follow as per Wedding Etiquette.

#1. The wedding gown

According to Miss Manners, the modern day Wedding Etiquette is not all that stern. Brides of today do not have to stick to the traditional ultra white, cream and beige wedding gowns. They can rather experiment with their favorite pastels or even with any color which would go along with the theme especially in case of a Destination wedding. An aquamarine or turquoise colored gown to match the fresh sea water is a great option in case of a beach wedding.

It is more important that you select a dress which would compliment your skin tone and the one which would, at the same time, accentuate your curves in the best way possible.


#2. The shoes

Ankle strap and open toed wedding shoes are allowed by Wedding Etiquette say, Miss Manners and white is no more the indispensable color for the wedding shoe. Cream, beige, ivory or even a red colored shoe can be worn to go with a wedding gown in ultra white.

In this regard, comfort and style score high. Miss Manners say, less ornamented shoes are most preferred, though rhinestones do not confront Wedding Etiquette in any way.

#3. Announcement of the engagement

For the first time brides, the most economic and simple way to announce the engagement to close friends and family is during a dinner. However, in case you are ready to burn a hole in your pocket, an engagement ball can be hosted specially for this purpose or an announcement can be made for the same in newspapers, say Miss Manners.

Miss Manners suggest second time brides to speak to their kids before making an announcement in public. Secondly, it is necessary to discuss about the plans to their parents prior to their ex-spouse. Wedding Etiquette is, however, not breached if the bride, who may not have an offspring from her ex-spouse, has neglected to tell him about the engagement. Unless the bride has joint custody of children with her ex-spouse, she is completely free from any kind of obligation towards him.

#4. Who are to be invited?

In the opinion of Miss Manners, it is totally in the hands of the hosts of the wedding to actually decide who are to be invited and who can be avoided or neglected. However, the parents can have a say, in case they host the wedding jointly. In general, it is the bridegroom and the bride who decide who are to be invited, as it is the day of their lives.

The bride’s father cannot invite the ex-guy or ex-spouse of the bride, who may be his best employee, if the bride and/or groom are not fine with it, though he might be the one who has hosted the wedding.

#5. Cash gifts and wedding registry

Cash gifts are a complete no-no as stated by Miss Manners. It is one of the greatest errors of Wedding Etiquette. Miss Manners also say that asking for a cash gift would make the groom and the bride look materialistic. Miss Manners is not in favor of persistence of cash gifts even if it is for the purpose of charity.

Wedding registry cards are fine with Miss Manners though they should not be enclosed with the invitation. Online registry is an enhanced option to inform guests who would like to gift according to the couple’s wish lists.

By following this, Wedding Etiquette is conserved and it would also present a pretty picture of the bride and groom, rather than presenting them as pushy people.

Glory At Morning Weddings

General perception among people is that a lavish wedding would make them feel great about it all through their lives. The important which we fail to consider is that it is the love between the couple which matters more than the over-the-top hype that is created. A simple sunrise wedding followed by an elegant luncheon makes more sense and gives more time for the couple to unwind and start with their lives on a happy note.

This would also help the new husband and wife, to save a great deal of money and time and would hence leave them with enormous amount of energy to perform post-wedding activities and indulge in the moments they were looking forward to.

Wedding at the early hours of a day is a different experience altogether. It gives a lot of time to unwind and enjoy once the ceremonies are over. It can be either formal or informal or even a semi-formal wedding suiting the needs and the wishes of the bride and the bridegroom. For a formal wedding, the invites have to be formal and the dress code would also be formal. A bride is supposed to wear a gown touching the floor and the veil she wears should touch the knuckle of the middle finger or the fingertips. A blusher of elbow length would look gorgeous with a fingertip veil. This is not obligatory in case of a semi-formal wedding.

The bridegroom's outfit should be in agreement with the degree of formality of the ceremony. In case of a semi-formal sunrise wedding, the groom can be clad in a suit or stroller in a dark color without tails in black or grey. On the other hand, for a formal wedding, he should sport a morning suit comprising of ascot, grey pinstripe trousers, cutaway coat and a grey vest. He can even prefer wearing a tuxedo.

However, it is necessary to coordinate the outfits of the couple in such a way that they compliment each other. A tuxedo would be too formal, in case the bride is going with a casual wedding gown.

The following are certain primary etiquettes which ought to be followed without any indifference
whether it is a morning or an evening wedding:-

It is the duty of the groomsmen and bridesmaid to assist the ceremonies if the wedding is not exactly private.

The bridesmaids have to be selected in such a way that they are younger than the bride and their outfit be in a light and elegant fabric and should match with the wedding gown of the bride.

Flowers are to be used as embellishment.

The bride's outfit has to be graceful and simple with a veil and a pretty garland. Jewels, if given by the groom or the parents can also be adorned.

The bridesmaid have to help the bride in dressing up and in receiving guests and helping them take their seats in the left side. The gloves and bouquet is to be with the first bridesmaid.

The groomsmen have to assist the groom and have to take care of the task of receiving the clergyman.

Guests should keep away from wearing dark colored dresses for a morning wedding. Breezy and subtle colored suits and dresses are preferred.

The Wedding Breakfast

The most apt Wedding Etiquette lies down that the bride has to sit in the centre table besides her husband while the parents take up the top to bottom to welcome the guests turning up. Once the cake is cut and the toast is offered to the couple, the bride and the bride groom ultimately exit the ceremony after a congregation with their near and dear ones.

The newly weds can get going with their honeymoon and other plans around two or three 'o' clock. Meanwhile, the guests can set off to their destinations.

Tipping - Shelling Out The Green Papers

*Getting a marriage done is not an easy job.
*General custom on who bears the cost .
* Present day etiquette as to who bears the expenses.
*Bride and groom also contribute towards the expenses.
*When parents offer they must not deny.

To get married these present days is not an easy job at all . It has become all expensive and one has to spend much these days. For brides you buy accessories, jewelry, arrange for the wedding coordinator, look out for a makeup artists , and much more. One has to discuss all these and make sure of the funds or resources.

Before you proceed be sure as to who takes up the expenses of the wedding. Decide and verify as to who bears the major percentage of the wedding budget.

General custom as to who shells out for the expenses of the wedding.

Wedding practice on who shells out for the expenses has developed since the last century. It is the general custom that the father of the bride spends for the wedding expenses. This was practiced during the period when the girls were locked up inside their houses and were not allowed to go for work or go to schools, but all they had to do is the household work and they had to learn the lady manners and be well trained as to how to behave after the wedding and on how to lead a life of married woman.

The daughter will get married to the person with whom her father considers as the best and he should feel that he would look after his daughter and feed her and take care of her very well .And thus he would be sending his daughter away to the groom's place , so he makes it a point host a grand wedding and accepts to pay for the expenses as an indication as to his approval of the marriage. This is the general style followed .

Present day etiquette as to who bears the expenses.

In our day the etiquette on who sponsors it is not much firm as it was long ago. The groom and his partner should go on traditional basis and it is advisable to ask the bride's father to host the party and bear the expenses of the wedding. Or if the parents have decided to co host the wedding they would let them know before and go accordingly. This is generally if the parents are well off to sponsor and meet up part of the expenses.

As these days the groom and the bride earn their living there is no harm if they can meet the expenses of the wedding themselves. Some prefer to manage their expenses as they can have a control on number of guests , who to be invited and how the party should be held.

Wedding etiquette on who shells out for the wedding is , much set aside and the guests bless the couples and the family members.

Other options of paying.

These days there is an increase cost of living , and the parent might not be in a position to sponsor the whole expenses. It might be beyond the reach of the parents. If the bride and the groom are earning their own living they might offer to pay the whole expenses.

But obviously there are parents who will want to bear a part of the expenses. The couple must be sensitive to this issue. When the parents offer to spend it is good to accept and the couple should not deny this even if their parents hand over all that they own. They have some pleasure in contributing and they enjoy the marriage. They have a major role to be paid.

It is much advisable to discuss with your parents the budget and this way you put them through an idea about the expenses to be borne.

Wedding Etiquette : What Not To Wear!

- Anything too revealing and sexy.

- A dark colored outfit for a morning wedding.

- White should be dissuaded. Especially, a white colored outfit without any prints. This is because, it would steal the limelight away from the bride.

- Jeans

- Tattered and tainted dress must not be worn.

- Too small or too big dresses are also out of question.
- If the wedding is a religious one, sleeveless and strapless dresses are to be avoided. Bare shoulders have to be covered.

Suitable Etiquette For Wedding Guests

-Punctuality is vital. It is necessary to be present in the venue of the wedding at least fifteen minutes before the start of the ceremonies so that there is enough time to find a seat and settle down.

- Purity of the wedding has to be preserved. Guests should avoid clicking pictures. They should rather let the photographers do their task properly.

- Gifts need not be brought to the venue of the wedding. They can rather be delivered to the house of the couple anytime within one year from the date of wedding.

- In case of failure to make it to the wedding, the gift becomes an essential.

- Bringing uninvited guest is considered discourteous. Bringing is permitted only if it has been mentioned in the invite.

- Getting drunk at a wedding reception is disrespectful and offensive.

- Unwanted mingling with people you hardly know should also be avoided.

Wedding Etiquette: Outfits For Wedding

There is a unique style that can be followed for every other wedding you attend depending on the location, the time and the season. If the wedding invitation is addressed formally, it implies that the guests are required to dress formally for the occasion. On the other hand, a casual invite suggests that the guests can dress casually for the wedding.

For selecting what to wear, the wedding location can be of great help. For a beach wedding or a wedding in a lawn, steer clear of high heels as they tend to sink in the sand and the grass respectively. For an outdoor wedding, very light dresses have to be shunned as they tend to get caught with the wind. A subtle dress can be worn for a wedding at a warm and humid location. However, if the wedding is to take place at a club or a five-star restaurant, you can prefer being wearing a tailored suit or any other dressy outfit.

# Outfits For The Sunshine Wedding

For the 40+ women

1. A nice fitted skirt with a sweater and sling back shoes.
2. A suit in a subtle color which is not too formal.
3. A dress with a nice floral pattern.
4. A striking hat which would go well with the outfit and would compliment it.

For the 40+ men

1. A linen or seersucker suit in a light color is the most apt outfit for a summer wedding.
2. For winter weddings, go for darker shades and warmer fabrics. Woolen suits, charcoal pants, ties and a sweater beneath the blazer are a nice option.
3. A blazer together with a dress shirt, pants and a tie is another elegant option.
4. If the wedding is before 6pm, a tuxedo can be adorned.
5. For a wedding which is formal, a dark colored suit is the best bet.


# OUTFITS FOR THE EVENING WEDDING

For the 40+ women

1. Dressing for an evening wedding should be similar to the way we dress for a theatre ordinner.
2. An elegant and not so revealing cocktail number in black is an excellent option.
3. A dressy cocktail suit is also a safe bet.
4. Sequins and beads are to be avoided if the wedding is a formal one.
5. Darker colors would help present your self in a more sophisticated way.

For the 40+ men

1. For a semi-formal or casual wedding, slacks coupled with blazer and a matching tie can be sported.
2. Suits in dark colors are always accepted and most preferred.

# FOR THE FORMAL WEDDING

For the 40+ women

1. A gorgeous cocktail dress touching the floor.

For the 40+ men

1. The dress should be really formal.
2. Tuxedo is the best option for such an occasion.

Gift Giving Cash Wedding Etiquette

There are a number of basic etiquettes which need to be followed for every move made during a wedding right from the dress to gifting to tipping. Here is a list of all the key points which need to be considered if you have decided to give cash as a present to the newly married couple.

Cash Gifting Principle 1

If a person invited for the wedding, cannot attend the wedding, he/she is not obliged to send any present and more precisely, cash gifts. However, wedding etiquette calls for the person to send a note of congratulation to the bridegroom or to the couple or a best wishes note has to be conveyed to the bride.

Cash Gifting Principle 2


The gift that you are planning to give, cash or kind may be forwarded to the bride’s house or the groom’s house if you are planning to send it before the date of the wedding. And in case you are planning to send the gift after the wedding, it must be sent to the new house of the couple within one year from the date of marriage. This would decrease the encumbrance of the couple. Cash gift is very suitable in such cases as it can be easily delivered and does need the couple to spend on transportation. Another thing is that, cash gifts would help the couple as they can use it as a form of saving till they stabilize with their lives.

Cash Gifting Principle 3

Cash present is considered ideal as it helps the newly wedded couple in a variety of ways. This cash may help the couple in getting stabilized in their lives in the initial stages post marriage. Expenses after marriage tend to be more as the couple has to pay for their apartment, get groceries and toiletries, purchase furniture and other appliances needed for the new home etc. They may also need money for many other purposes. Thus, we can safely conclude that cash presents do not defy wedding etiquettes.

Cash Gifting Principle 4

The next principle to be followed is concerned with the amount of cash which is ideal to be gifted. There is no fixed amount which can be termed the right amount of cash to be gifted. You can gift any amount according to your budget. However, the guest’s conveyance cannot be given as a gift to the newly married couple.

Cash Gifting Principle 5

Wedding registry does not oblige the guest to get the couple a gift from among it. In other words, it does not stop the guest from gifting cash. It is totally according to the wishes of the guest to decide what he likes to gift.

Now that the cash gifting etiquette for the guests has been discussed, we can proceed with the etiquettes which the couple needs to follow.

Wedding Etiquette On Gifts For The Couple

It is totally opposed to wedding etiquettes for a couple to ask for cash as gift for their wedding in any form. It is considered unpleasant to ask a guest for present in the form of cash to pay off mortgages or to fund for the honeymoon or for charitable purposes. It is considered unethical.
Asking for a present directly or indirectly makes the bride or the groom or the couple look selfish and mean even if it is for a good cause like charity. This would often make the guest less liberal.

It is necessary for the couple to send a note thanking the guest for the gift given by them whether in cash or kind. However, the decision to give gift of cash totally relies on the guest and the couple should never ask for a gift in cash.

Destination Wedding Etiquette

Destination weddings are very popular. In fact, in some ways, etiquette rules have not yet caught up to the destination theme at all! Yet, when it comes to this type of wedding style, you really do have a lot to think about before you go off to get married.

Destination weddings are weddings in which you will travel to a location other than any place near to you, to be married. These weddings are common in resorts and other fabulous places.

Yet, although they are so popular, that does not mean that they are the best choice for everyone, especially those with a large family that is expecting a large celebration of the wedding.

While the ultimate decision about a destination wedding is all up to you, it is common practice to insure that the wedding satisfies everyone’s needs. Here are some basic tips that we will expand on later.

Tip One:

Do not expect the world to follow you to your destination wedding. Not many of your guests will be able to afford it, find travel arrangements or get off of work to go. So, expect for some not to be able to come with you for your wedding.

Tip Two:

Send out wedding invitations and ‘hold the date’ cards to your guest well in advance. Several months should be given if you except them to come so that they can get the proper travel arrangements made including the necessary legal documents if it is out of the country.

Tip Three:

Do something for those that can not make it to your wedding but are close enough to you that want to celebrate your wedding with you at home. For example, you can have your wedding ceremony in Hawaii, but have a reception back at home too for those that could not make it.

Etiquette For The Wedding

There are several things that come into play when it comes to a destination wedding ceremony.

The first is the cost. Unlike a traditional wedding ceremony, it is not going to fly for the parents to pay for this type of wedding celebration, especially when most are counting on that big wedding to celebrate your marriage.

So, if you plan to have a destination wedding, plan to sit down and talk to those that will be paying for it. There are many additional costs folded into the wedding itself here.

One benefit to the wedding destination is that most will take care of all of the planning for your wedding for you. They can help you to make arrangements for the ceremony, lodging, foods, and even for legal requirements. This does lessen the amount of planning that you will be required to do, but it may also limit you to what you can do yourself.

Depending on the level of comfort you have in giving someone else the ability to handle your wedding, should be a consideration here.

Wedding Tipping dos and donts

Wedding etiquette is just like any other type of etiquette when it comes to tipping. If you are given a service, it is essential that you provide a tip to the person that is providing it to you.

Tipping is a way of thanking an individual for a job well done. Therefore, if they do not do a good job or there is some large problem that is not able to be rectified, the tip should be lessened or not provided. But, remember that this is the source of income for the service provider.

So, who do you tip and who is supposed to tip them? Here are some general rules to help you to decide what the right way to handle payment in the form of tips is.

Who To Tip

The first thing to take note of is just who you should be tipping. One rule of thumb for this is to take a look at the final bill. Today, most of the opportunities for tips are often applied right to the final bill.

For example, in most restaurants, a large party will have gratuity added to the bill. But, that does not mean that this is the right amount to tip (it may be too high or too low) and it does not mean that you have to pay for it at that level

If you pay gratuity in the final bill of your service provided for your wedding, should you give a tip on top of this to the service provider?

If you feel that the service provider has gone over and beyond what was expected of them, then it can be appropriate to provide them with more of a tip for your needs. If you feel that the tip is not enough, then by all means, a larger tip can and should be left.

But, Which Services And How Much?

Knowing when to tip is just as important. There are several opportunities that you will have to give a tip at. Here’s a breakdown of some you should take note of.

• Those that include a tip already in the final bill may be the caterer, the banquet managers, waiters, bartenders, and bridal consultants. Here, a tip is generally about 15%, but should only be provided if the service is over and beyond the standard since you are already tipping them in the bill.

• Your Limousine Driver. You should tip the limo driver for your service. Notice in the contract if there is an amount of gratuity already listed. If so, it is not necessary. If not, or you receive high levels of service, a tip of 15% is appropriate.

• Photographers, florists and musicians. If not provided in the contract, a tip in the amount of 15% to 20% is appreciated. More for better service, of course.

• Priests, Rabbis and Clergymen. This is one tip not to be forgotten as it is not provided elsewhere. The groom should provide a tip to be given by the best man to the official.

Commonly, this amount should not be less than $100. While it is a donation, it should always be provided. More should be provided if the official had to drive a long distance.

Invitations And Announcements

Wedding etiquette is essential when it comes to letting the world know about your new upcoming marriage and the invitations that you send to your guests. Getting this right really does set the stage for what your guests will think and feel about you for the next months.

Wedding Invitation Design

One of the first things to determine is how the wedding invitation will be set up. Whose name goes first? What happens when things are more than just a simple wedding? The fact is that there are many questions that come up with the wedding invitation design.

First, here are a few etiquette friendly methods of writing an invitation:

• Start with the sponsor or the bride’s parents names.

Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith should be the beginning of the invitations.

• Follow this with, "request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter”

• Next, include the first names of the bride and the groom, "Ann Marie to Mr. Adam Jones”

• Follow this with the date and time of the wedding followed by the location.

The invitation should also include the groom’s parents if both will be helping to pay for or sponsor the wedding. The bride’s parent’s names should be first, followed by the groom’s.

If the bride and the groom are sending the invitations, their names should appear such as this:

Miss Ann Marie Smith

And
Mr. Adam Jones

Now, it gets a bit trickier when you add in the divorces and other complications. To determine what the right way to design the wedding invitation is, remember this.

The parents that are issuing the invitations, sponsoring the wedding, paying for the wedding should have their name go first. If you have more than one parent, start the invitation with the bride’s parents (father first) and then the groom’s parents second.

There are also special situations that can follow these rules such as brothers and sisters hosting the wedding, grandparents and many, many more. The goal is to give proper respect to the individuals that are sponsoring the wedding first and foremost.

List the purpose of the invitation on it. For example, this should be an invitation to the marriage of their daughter or, an invitation to the celebration of their daughter’s marriage for a reception only. If there is no reception or only selected guests will be there, the invitation would be directed as an invitation for the ceremony of marriage of the daughter.

Wedding Etiquette for Family

The first thing that needs to be figured out is who will be handling what aspects of your wedding day.

This is often a difficult situation because people will go one of two ways.

• They may want to do anything and everything for you. They may want to pay for everything, spoil you rotten and make sure that everything is perfect for you. They often want a controlling hand in the wedding planning to go along with this, though.

• They may instead want to play a minimal role in your wedding, making sure that you pay for and lead the way in your wedding decisions.

Of course, you are looking for the happy medium here. To make sure that this happens, the first thing that you need to do is to get together those that will play a large role in your wedding celebration and planning including those that do want to play a role and those that are close family.

This would include:

• Parents, step parents, and grandparents.
• Siblings.
• Godparents or mentors within the family or friend structure.
• Close friends.
• The wedding party.

When everyone can come together, they can make decisions as a whole or at least find out what role they will play in this very important day for you and for them. Now, who’s doing what?

The Wedding Etiquette Breakdown Of Who’s Who

Here’s a breakdown of some of the most important players and what they are traditionally supposed to do on your wedding day.

Mother Of The Bride

The first goal is to make sure that the bride’s wishes are carried out the way that she wants them to be. The mother of the bride is there to help her to make sure that what she wants and what she needs happens.

It is very important that the mother of the bride allows for the bride’s tastes, desires and needs to be provided for. This does not mean that they can dictate what happens, but rather should insure that what does is what the bride wants.

As one of the largest role players, here are her responsibilities:

• The Wedding Attire. The mother of the bride should help to find the perfect dress for the wedding, including undergarments and accessories. Not your tastes, but hers should come through.

• Guest Lists. The mother of the bride should help to organize guest lists, coordinating with the mother of the groom. If the mother of the groom does not contact her, she should make the first attempt.

Why Wedding Etiquette Is Essential

It’s your wedding, do it your way and forget about the rest, right? If you plan to make a few people unhappy and quite a few more wondering where your manners are, then that is the way to go.

Although we do not want to think or talk about it, wedding etiquette is essential. At this very important time in your life, you want everyone to know who you are and what kind of life you are planning to live. The way that you present yourself here is the way they will see you as a couple.

Even if you do not care much about what they do and think, it is still essential for you to find a way to make them feel welcome into your life.

Not To Worry, It’s Not Hard!

The hardest part of wedding etiquette is learning about it. That you will do here. The easy part is doing it. There are very few things that are too hard to accommodate. Besides, a wedding is all about pomp and circumstance, so why not lay it all out there?

Wedding etiquette may seem like a difficult process but once you learn a few facts about it and how to easily execute it, you will be well on your way to pleasing your guests, your parents and even find yourself enjoying it all!


Worries Relieved

Another benefit of following the right etiquette for your wedding is that you can avoid problems like these:

• You forgot to invite someone to your wedding and now, they are upset with you!

• You do not know how to properly announce your wedding. Should you put it in the newspaper or send an announcement in the mail?

• Who should you invite to your wedding shower?

• Is it okay to do a gift registry for your wedding? If so, should you put expensive items on it? Does it imply that you want gifts?

• What should you do about guests that are out of town? Is it up to you to provide for them?

• Who’s going to pay for what? Should your bridesmaids pay for their dresses? Should you fork over the money for gifts?

• Who should throw your bridal shower?

• Is email an acceptable form of thank you notes for your gifts?

There are plenty of things that are big ‘ifs’ and since most of us only get married one time, it is rather difficult to actually determine what the right way to go is.