Wedding Etiquette For A Second Marriage

What if your heart beats again for the second time? Scary, isn't it? Many questions pop-up your mind especially now that he proposed marriage to you. The first question that your mind has formed was what is the wedding etiquette for a second marriage?

It is a tough question but it needs to be answered. Learning the wedding etiquette for a second marriage will help you lessen the pressure and tension that your first family (which you love so much) has unconsciously thrown at your back. You need to carry the situation like any sensible adult.

Before, it is a popular thought that second marriage should not be elaborate, extravagant and formal the way a first marriage is celebrated. But today, this belief does not hold true anymore. You can still aim for an intimate, smaller and quieter second marriage but you can also celebrate a festive one, if you prefer and your budget allows you to do so.

What is important is that your second marriage is celebrated the way you would want it to be. Don't limit yourself and do what others expect you to do for a second marriage. Remember, it is you who will get wed and not them. Besides, you would not violate any wedding etiquette by following your heart's desires.

Here are some information for you on wedding etiquette for a second marriage.

Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Announcing Your Engagement

In getting wed for the second time, your major concerns will be the second marriage's effect on your children, if you have any, and to your close relatives. If you plan to remarry, your children should know first of your decision. You must ready your children for having a new family and new brothers and sisters. Uniting two families will not be stressful for you but for your children, most especially.

The next to be informed are your parents. Of course, they need to be in your wedding and informing them is a sign of courtesy to them. Next will be your ex, especially if you have arranged joint custody for the children. He should know that there will be some changes in your household.

Also, you should wear your new engagement ring. There mustn't have any trace of old flames on your fingers the moment you begin planning and announcing your second wedding.

Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Dress Issue

Widow brides who are getting married for the second time are expected to wear lilac or lavender dress. But these does not hold true nowadays. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage gives bride a chance to wear white dress again. Divorced brides can also wear white dress although they could remove the veil and tiara and instead simply wear flowers on your head.

Wedding Etiquette for a Second Marriage - Who to Invite?

When planning for your second wedding, think that you can invite any person you want to attend to your wedding. Refrain from inviting former in-laws and ex-spouses, even if you are on good terms with them. Guests may also feel awkward seeing and being around them.

If your children, however, requested that their father should be in the wedding, try to talk them out about it and tell them how awkward it would feel for the new in-laws and the new groom to see an ex-spouse around. Wedding etiquette for a second marriage does not obligate you to invite an ex-spouse to your second wedding, although you may do so if the situation warranted.

But if your new groom agrees to the idea of inviting an ex-spouse as requested by the children and your ex-spouse agreed on it, then you may invite your ex-spouse to attend your second wedding.

But there is a more sensible idea than inviting your ex-spouse to your wedding. Invite him to a dinner, perhaps at your home, with your children and new husband, if he is up to it. Tell your children that the dinner replaces the wedding invitation and your children may finally agree on not inviting their father on the wedding day. You may do this before or after your wedding or honeymoon.

Second Wedding Etiquette: Simple Rules to Remember

There are instances of second weddings and for these times, second wedding etiquette will asked to be observed by the couple. It entirely depends on whose experience is complicated by matters of the former wedding.

Before the wedding:

It is a second wedding etiquette to acknowledge the former wife or husband. If the relationship is amiable, announcing the engagement is best done over dinner. Second wedding etiquette requires a courtesy to be extended to the former legal partner.

If the previous relationship is not so good, the future bride or groom should inform them of their intentions through the telephone. Some second wedding etiquette can also be extended to the former partner’s family, if they are very close.

If the couple has children to think about, it is second wedding etiquette to inform them of their decision. Regardless of their children’s protests, this should not be skipped or done at the last minute. Children have a longer time to adjust and accept certain realities. One of them is the thought of having a new mom or dad.

Therefore, a second wedding etiquette requires mom and dad to make their engagement known to the children first. If the relationship is good between the kids and the new mom or dad, they will respect their parent’s wishes and support their union.

The wedding details:

Having gone through the entire wedding process before, this will be easier to handle the second time around. The couple should remember the second wedding etiquette of holding a smaller event and inviting only their close friends and family. It is rude to ask for the former partner to attend but if there is no problem, they can do so.

The couple can discuss second wedding etiquette regarding the budget for the wedding. It is normal that expenses are shared. The question of who will pay for what can be decided among the bride and groom privately.

For most second weddings, a lot of them prefer to celebrate out of town. Perhaps because of their higher disposable income, they now have the luxury to have the wedding in a foreign place. Second wedding etiquette is much the same as the first wedding which considers the guests and who can afford to travel that far, like Hawaii, for the event.

The wedding location and reception:

As a rule, second wedding etiquette requires the bride and groom to not celebrate their marriage in a place reminiscent of the past relationships. Second weddings are sensitive occasions for both parties since there is an unspoken expectation from the partner regarding the first marriage.

Choosing the theme, the wedding location and where the reception will be held is a matter for both parties to discuss. The locations should be accessible to the family and guests.

Regarding the color of the dress, it is all right for the bride to wear a white wedding gown. The groom and groomsmen can wear a tuxedo. For a second wedding etiquette, you can still pretty much follow the traditional color palette.

The couple as a second wedding etiquette should also provide for the transportation of everyone. It is allowed to ask beforehand who will bring a car so that the number of rented automobiles can be estimated. Doing so will save the couple money and time.

Second wedding as a family affair:

Not all second weddings are about building new families. The second wedding etiquette can be used to celebrate a renewal of vows to each other. This is usually done to mark a marriage’s longevity like the 25th year or the 50th year anniversary.

Weddings like this are more private and solemn than the first wedding and perhaps more joyous. Reaffirming one’s vow made to their wife or husband is such a beautiful thing. The second wedding etiquette for the couple is to invite their closest friends and family to the event and keep it as simple as possible.

For guests:

It is proper second wedding etiquette to bring a gift for the couple. Though using a bridal registry is optional, second wedding gifts are often those that the couple can appreciate and use. Money is still accepted and the second wedding etiquette of handing the envelopes to the family members is still practiced.

The rules for second wedding etiquette are not at all hard to follow. All the couple has to do is be considerate of the other’s feelings and decisions in whatever part of the wedding. And as a second wedding etiquette rule, the honeymoon should be as sweet, if not sweeter, than the first wedding.

Wedding Etiquette: Cash Bar Wedding Parties

As more couples, these days are celebrating their wedding in the evening; throwing open bar party has become a trend and is rapidly gaining popularity. Open bar implies that the guest can order any number of drinks of the brand of his liking. There is no upper limit to the number of drinks which must be ordered. This is a way opted by couples who are ready to burn a hole in their wallets.

However, many couples are opting for cash bars as it would come under their budget. Unlike open bars, in any cash bar wedding party, the guests have to pay for every order they make. The newlyweds cannot be held liable in case of non payment by the guest. The guests have to hand down a bill for the drink similar to the way a customer usually does while he orders a drink at the local bar.

Wedding Etiquette, however, commands the brides and grooms to not opt for cash bars. You would be evaluated as a zero if you opt for one. Even couples with tight budgets are not advised to go for it.

As cash bars defy Wedding Etiquettes, you are sure to receive unpleasant and nasty remarks from guests if you opt for it. These remarks may range anywhere from commenting on your budget to your manners. Hence, it is advisable not to go ahead with cash bars. Rather, you can end your reception with a quiet sit down dinner thereby saving yourself and your spouse from the embarrassment right on your special day.

The point that guests forget here is that they themselves are defying wedding etiquettes by commenting on your efforts. But, there is no way that we can silence them.

Answer to the cash bar problem

There is one alternative available to the cash bar. According to Wedding etiquette experts, you can opt for a semi open bar instead whereby you need not fear about defying Wedding Etiquette and simultaneously you need not have to bear the brunt.

Experts on wedding etiquette say that it is advisable to cash bar all the drinks after the first two while the first and the second drinks can be under the open bar system.

As per social drinking standards, two drinks are acceptable. By opting for this combination of open bar and the cash bar, you can be sure that the guests attending the party are satisfied while you can also be happy that you need not burn a whole in your pocket. This way of hosting the evening party also ensures that the guests maintain their composure and excessive drinking by the guests can also be avoided. Thus, a large number of couples who are a bit tight on their budget are opting for this combination way of hosting the cocktail party.

Second Wedding, Do It Right This Time...

Tradition and etiquette dictates that second weddings should be simple and casual instead of being formal and extravagant. However, the number of second or encore wedding is sharply growing each year. Such ceremony is designed to celebrate two people who want to embark on a new marriage with different partners.

Etiquette In Announcing Your Engagement

The immediate concern in planning a second wedding is how to announce this to you children. The children should always be the first be notified of your decision to remarry, as this will combine two already established families. Expect you children to be stressed by your move and they will need a certain amount of time to accept the situation.

The bride and groom’s parents should be the next to be informed and then the respective ex’s. The ex-wife or ex-husband should make an effort to appease the children and reassure them about their roles in the new family.

Engagement rings from the past should not be worn anymore based on second wedding etiquette. All signs of previous relationships should be taken away once planning for the wedding and announcements are made.

A second marriage can be announced informally such as advertising it in the newspaper, making emails and phone calls. Under second wedding etiquette, the couple does not have to host an engagement party but a small gathering can be organized where you can make that important announcement.

Who’s Going?

Just about anybody can attend your second wedding. However, in observance of second wedding etiquette ex-spouses and former in-laws should not be invited even if you are in speaking terms to avoid awkwardness among the other guests.

The bride and groom should calculate a realistic budget for the wedding. This is a rare chance to again have the wedding of your dreams, it could be elegant, extravagant and intimate.

Vows and Ceremonies

Second wedding are normally made in civil ceremonies but can also be done in a religious ceremony. They are many ways to make the ceremony fell very intimate and special. Writing vows is common among second wedding and there is an abundance of books written about it. The children can be assigned to do an important part of the ceremony in order to foster unity. They can escort you while walking the aisle, read passages from the bible or serve as attendants in the event.

The closest family members and friends of the new couple can walk down the aisle or no one at all.


Are Bridal Showers Needed?

Bridal showers for encore brides are normally but this need to adhere with second etiquette rules.

Only guests should be invited

Club, Office and school showers can also be done and can be attended by other not on the
official guest list. However, those that attended the bride’s first wedding should not participate.

Wedding Gifts and Registry

Guest should make they register. Some guests will have the uncontrollable urge to give something even if the couple does not want gifts. It’s also acceptable for encore couples to sign in the gift registry.

Wedding Gift Ideas for Second Marriages

• Gift certificates—restaurants, spas, stores
• DVD player and DVDs
• Charity Donations
• Coffee maker, pasta maker, cook books

Wedding Receptions and Parties

The reception of a second wedding may be extravagant or simple depending on the taste of the couple. The bride and gross will be first at the line and followed by their children. The traditional garter and bridal bouquet toss are optional.

Not Necessary In A Second Marriage

• Rehearsal Dinner
• Attendants
• Accompanying the bride down the aisle
• Procession

Advisable

• Make a gift registry even if you don’t want gifts.
• The children should have responsibilities in the ceremony.
• Customize and personalize the wedding and reception.

Please Avoid

• Doing the same things in like your first wedding.
• Wearing a similar wedding dress.
• Marry in the exact spot of your first wedding.
• Use old rings from a past marriage.
• Criticizing former spouses

Optional

• Showers
• Engagement Party
• Announcement in the newspaper
• Rehearsal Dinner
• A laving wedding with attendants
• Parents walking down the aisle
• A different color for the wedding dress instead of white

Second Wedding Etiquette to Follow

Not very long ago, people believed in celebrating second marriage as a very low key affair by inviting only close friends and family. It was supposed to be a more formal occasion without any kind of lavish celebrations, especially if the bridegroom or the bride were divorced.

However, it does not hold good anymore as people have understood that there is no point in stopping second time marrying couples from expressing their love for each other and their emotions. They are free to celebrate their wedding the way they prefer it, whether it be a lavish festivity or a low key intimate affair.

They need not worry about what others would think about them if they are being too extravagant in celebrating their wedding. You do not meet a person who can make your heart pound so much every other day, so go on and celebrate it with your mister or miss right whom you have identified a wee bit late. Host a feast to express your love.

Second wedding, however, has its own set of etiquettes which ought to be followed. Try to incorporate them as and wherever necessary to avoid causing blunders.

Wedding Etiquette which has to be followed during the second marriage:

Announcing the engagement

Firstly, you need to discuss about your plans to get married again with your children from first marriage, if any as it would not be very easy for them to adapt to the changes which may take place soon after. Therefore, it is important to talk to them before announcing about the engagement to others. If this principle etiquette is forgotten, it may prove disastrous with the passage of time when you, your new husband, your kids and his kids move into the same house.

Secondly, you ought to inform your parents about the engagement and second wedding before you inform about it to your ex-spouse. In case you do not have any kid with your ex- spouse you are not obliged to tell him/her about your second engagement.

Selecting the wedding dress

Second wedding brides can wear any color dress which they prefer. However, lavender and lilac are the colors which are preferred for widow brides marrying the second time. It is considered better to leave out the tiara and the veil and instead opt for a simple and pretty flower head dress.

Inviting your ex-spouse

Proper Wedding Etiquette for second marriage calls for the bride and groom to sit, discuss and decide who are to be called for the wedding and who can be ignored.

It is advisable not to include ex-spouses and former in-laws in your wedding list as the guests may feel awkward about their presence.

This is so because, it would be really weird and stressful when your ex-spouse, former in-laws, present in-laws and current spouse meet as it is totally unpredictable as to what would happen during their meeting. Hence, it is not advisable to call your ex-spouse to attend your second marriage even if your current spouse assures you that he/she does not have any problem with them attending the wedding.


The proper wedding etiquette in such a situation is to call your ex-spouse for a quiet dinner after your honeymoon so that embarrassing and awkward situations are not faced by you or your present husband.