Essential Responsibilities of Maid of Honor

The maid of honor is usually a sister or very close friend. Choose someone dependable. If you choose, you may have both a maid (single) and a matron (married) of honor, who takes precedence at the ceremony, signs as your legal witness and carries the groom's ring.

Advance Help

The maid of honor may plan your wedding and take care of details for you. If she lives nearby she might help address invitations, plan pre-wedding parties, make favors or table decorations, and keep track of gifts received and thank you cards sent. The maid of honor usually hosts a bridal shower. The bride can delegate care of bridesmaid's fittings and details. She attends pre-wedding parties. She attends the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.


At the Wedding

The maid of honor helps the bride with dressing and assists with the, train, veil and holding the brides bouquet during the ceremony. The maid of honor wears the groom’s ring on her thumb or carries it in some other safe manner until it is time for the blessing and exchange of rings in the ceremony. She is responsible for having an emergency kit with miscellaneous items such as a needle and thread, extra nylons, a roll of tape etc.

The maid of honor holds on to a duplicate list of desired shots for the photographer and Videographer as well as a song list for ceremony musicians and a copy of any special prayers or readings to be used during the ceremony. She walks in front of the bride in the processional and with the best man in the recessional and stands near the bride at the altar. She makes sure that all of the bride's clothing, make-up and personal belongings are removed from the changing room at the ceremony site and taken back to the bride's home. She helps to line up bridesmaids for formal photographs.

At the Reception

The maid of honor stands next to the groom in very formal receiving lines. The maid of honor is seated at the head table or table of honor. During the reception, she mingles with guests.
She dances with the best man at the reception. She helps the bride with her train, fastening it to floor length so it is out of the way for dancing, if necessary.

The maid of honor keeps a duplicate copy of the list of names and pronunciations for the bridal party announcements. She also keeps a duplicate song list for the reception musicians or disc jockey. If the bride needs assistance in tossing her bouquet or in gathering single women to catch it, the maid of honor can help out.

If requested, she helps the bride dress for the honeymoon and makes sure the bridal gown and other personal clothing items are returned to the bride's home after the reception. She takes the bridal bouquet for preserving and may take the gown for heir looming while the bride is on her honeymoon.

Expenses

The maid of honor pays for her own dress and other attire. If travel expenses are involved, she pays for her own dress and other attire. Although she may attend several pre-wedding parties, only one shower gift and one wedding gift are to be expected. She may share the cost of bridal shower.

The Do's and Don'ts of Weddings

Your wedding allows you to be a celebrity for a day. But just because you’re the star doesn’t mean that you can make your own rules. Sure, you can have most things according to your personal choices, but then everyone is as part of the occasion as the couples are. So regardless if you have the urge (and the right) to do something totally unorthodox, it’s best to stay slightly grounded to tradition as well.

A wedding is one of the most potentially taxing occasions of a person’s existence. From the time of the engagement until the wedding planning stage, the couple goes through the most stressful days of their lives. What’s with the flood of questions, and preparations? And since times have changed and wedding celebrations have greatly evolved, traditional norms of etiquette went through changes, complicating things further.

In order to simplify things a bit, we must first accept the fact that etiquette is only meant to show respect for other people. Adhering to its rules does not mean losing one’s individuality. Thus, when faced with an issue that concerns etiquette, just think of its impact on other people. Because even if the wedding is your life’s most memorable moment, it is probably theirs’ too.

Meet the Parents

You and your fiance may have come to an agreement, but that doesn’t mean you leave your parents out of it. Tradition insists that the parents of the groom and bride meet prior the wedding date. Customarily, the groom’s parents initiate the introduction. However, nowadays, it is irrelevant who makes the first move. If it is hard for both parents to meet personally, a phone call or a letter can be an alternative.

In the event that the groom’s parents and/or the bride’s parents are divorced, the parent who maintains the closest relationship with the groom should be the one to arrange the meeting with the bride’s parents. If in case none of the parents make a move, it is the couple’s responsibility to make sure that both sets of parents meet in order to avoid awkward situations later on.

Since most weddings are a bride’s thing, the parents of the groom are usually left out in the dark with regards to the preparations. To prevent this from happening, it is advisable to inform them about your plans especially about the date, location, style, and the size of your wedding. They may want to get involved in some way such as in helping with the preparation or finances.

The Bill Please

Who takes the responsibility of paying the bill? Traditionally, the parents or the family of the bride is responsible for it. However, this is mostly rare nowadays. Majority of marriages has the couple splitting expenses between themselves or their families.

Invitation Guidelines

When you’re going to invite a person who you know is engaged, married, or is living with his better half, the partner should also be invited as well. A single invitation bearing both persons’ names are sent to couples who are living together. Separate invites should be sent person who are engaged or have a long term relationship but are not living together.

When inviting single persons, it is a thoughtful gesture to let them bring a date. However, this is not necessary. If your budget will allow them to bring their dates, you can find out the names of each of their dates and put their names on the invites as well. If you haven’t found out who they’re bringing to the wedding and you need to send the invites, the inner envelopes may simply include “and guest” as an indication that they are each allowed an escort to the wedding.

Kids in attendance sometimes spell disaster in weddings. Thus, if you want it to be a strictly-for-adults-only affair, ensure that you have made that clear to your guests. Guests who are under 18 years old may not be given their own invites but may have their names included in their parents’ invite. Thus, if you’re not inviting a couple’s children, their invite should only bear the couple’s names.

Children who are beyond 18 years old and are invited should be given their own invites, whether or not they are still living in the same house with their parents. That means, if you did not send them invites, then they are not invited to the occasion.

If you think that some guests may insist on adding their children’s names on the reply cards, you may print the names of the persons you have invited on their reply cards too. This will give them a clear understanding that they are the only ones you invited to the occasion.

Guests who bring other people along should know that it is not appropriate to do so unless their invites suggest that they may bring along a date. But if your wedding doesn’t allow guests to bring in their escorts, you have every right to say no to their request.

If you are not sure whether you should invite people who are quite far from the location of the wedding, think about the kind of relationship that you maintained with them. If they haven’t seen you or spoken with you for years, wouldn’t it be awkward to finally be hearing from you again? If you don’t want your invite to sound like you are soliciting gifts, skip those people. But if you feel that they need to know anyway, send them wedding announcements since these won’t obligate them to give anything.

When sending invites, make sure that they are sent around 6-8 weeks prior the date of the wedding. Thus, it is advisable to have them printed at least 3-4
months before the occasion. If you feel that some guests would need to be informed earlier, send them save-the-date cards in advance. This way, they won’t miss the wedding.

Whether you’re having the invites printed or you are printing them out yourself, check that you have around 25% more than the actual number of invited guests. You’ll never know how many errors you are going to make and just how many more people you will try to squeeze in later on.

Etiquette on Gifts

Even if it is customary to receive plenty of gifts on your wedding, make sure you realize that this is a privilege. Don’t ever think that you are entitled to receive one from your guests.

Gifts should not have a place on the invites. Keep in mind that there is no polite way to solicit for monetary gifts. However, you may inform your guests about your preference through word-of-mouth.

There are no specific guidelines as to how much guests should spend on their gifts. In short, gifts are not mandatory, but are simply charming gestures.

Furthermore, gifts received before the wedding date should only be used after the occasion.

The Controversial Dress Codes

The guidelines on the proper wedding attire have changed over the years. However, tradition has set some standards on styles, lengths, and fabrics that have served as very effective basis for most people.

The dresses of your bridesmaids and other members of the entourage should be as formal as that of the bride’s wedding dress. In the past, the length of the dresses should be about the same as the bride’s gown. But nowadays, as long as the style and fabric of the dresses match that of the bride’s wedding gown, shorter lengths have become totally acceptable.

Guests who are attending evening weddings are almost always required to wear formal attire. That is, men wear suits, or in some occasions, black tie. The lengths of the women’s dresses should be according to the style of the wedding and its location.

Some people’s greatest worry when attending a wedding is that they might stand out in the crowd by being either underdressed or too dressed-up for it. Bottom line, it is always a must to adhere to what the invite says. If it says black tie, there’s no way that the couple meant it some other way.

Shall We Dance?

Who gets to dance with the bride first? It has been customary that the groom dances with the bride first. The groom’s father then gets his turn just as the groom is dancing with his mother. The bride’s parents are then given their chance to dance with the couple. After both parents had their turns, the reception then opens the dance floor to all the guests.

Those mentioned do not entirely cover every aspect of a wedding. Thus, to give a more comprehensive guide on the soon-to-be-wed couples, here are some of the most frequently asked issues about weddings

Wedding Speeches - Wedding Speech One

This is the speech I gave when my youngest daughter, Jane got married

I am sure you could modify this one with your own daughter's and son-in-law's names plus any relevant jokes that fit their situation.

This wedding speech takes about 3 minutes or so when you're sober, but add one minute for every glass of wine you've consumed before giving your weeding speech.

Wedding Speech One Starts:

Good afternoon, for those who don't know me I am Ricky, Jane's Dad.

As Father of the Bride, it is an honor and my pleasure to be first to speak today.

On behalf of myself and my wife Janette as well as Margaret & Adams, Mike's parents I would like to welcome all the relatives and friends of both families, to this very happy occasion celebrating the marriage of Jane & Mike.

I spent hours preparing a long speech for you today because I knew that's what you would be looking forward to, but I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes because of my throat . If I go on too long Janette has threatened to cut it.

It seems only five minutes ago, this little girl was toddling around our first home chattering away non-stop. You couldn't shut her up and some things never change

Where has the time gone? Mind you it's nearly two years since they both set up home together and we've only just rediscovered the "Lost Bathroom"

We are really proud today, to see Jane looking so beautiful & married to Mike. During the time we've known him, we've really come to like him and realize how special he is to her; and anyone can see that they're made for each other! Mike you've always been welcome in our house, but it's now too late for refunds or returns. With or without a receipt.

We are also very proud that Mike's parents feel the same about Jane. They've clearly taken her to their hearts, and I believe that she is now their daughter, in fact as well as in law!

Apparently it's traditional for the bride's father to offer some worldly thoughts and advice about marriage. I've learned a few things about it during the last 32 years our anniversary is later this month, so perhaps I'm at least part-qualified...

A marriage certificate is like a lottery ticket. You pin all your hopes and dreams on it, but you don't really know how it'll turn out. I hit the jackpot with mine and I'm sure you two are both winners.

To Jane, the definition of a perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the dishes....

And to Mike, remember, man is unfinished until he finds a wife then he's completely finished!

• To both of you: I wish you fun and excitement for today.
• Hopes and dreams for tomorrow.
• and love and happiness forever.

Finally before I ask you all to join me in a toast and this couple fly off for their honeymoon, I should just remind Mike that the honeymoon is the period between "I do" and "you will"

Ladies and gentlemen please stand, raise your glasses and drink a toast with me to the health and happiness of our bride & groom Jane & Mike

Ladies and gentlemen, I would now like to hand you over, to my son in law, Mike who is dying to say a few words - as few as possible I think.”

Petty Situation - Bride Or Groom’s Father Has A Girlfriend

Let us have a close look on a situation - Martha was about to get married. On the wedding day, she, her mother, her bridesmaids and her father’s girlfriend went to the beauty parlor to have their hair done. Upon arrival, they have learned that only one stylist was present.

The situation created a commotion. The father’s girlfriend, being so vain and inconsiderate was the first to manage her hair done. Of course, the mom and the bridesmaids fumed in anger.

Similarly an another situation - Albert was the groom. His father has a current hot girlfriend. The girlfriend was almost of Albert’s age and is obviously just after fun. In short, it was apparent his father’s girlfriend and his dad are just having a fling. Should the girl be invited to the wedding?

There you go. Wedding situations can sometimes get really petty. If you are a bride or a groom’s father’s girlfriend, consider your position. Do not ruin some people’s precious moments. Do not settle to steal wedding thunders. Adopt a mature stance even just for the wedding occasion.

Dilemmas

The usual dilemmas brides and grooms encounter involving their father’s girlfriends and their moms will be discussed in this blog post.

Let us consider this situation. Dory’s father has a girlfriend. He threatens that he will not attend or show up at the wedding if the girlfriend will not be invited. In short, the father wants to display his sexual prowess by tagging along his hot girlfriend in the wedding.

Inviting them both will never be a problem, Dory thought. But the situation got complicated when Dory got to talk to her mother.

Telling the mom of her father’s demand, the mother, of course, got really angry. There will be no way she can be at the wedding if her father will bring along his girlfriend. The world seems too tight for the three people.

What should Dory do? It is like asking her who she loves more, her father or her mother?

Adhering to the wedding etiquettes, Dory should not choose one. She should instead strategize to avoid being made to choose.

As a wedding etiquette, fathers and mothers should be in the wedding. For Dory’s case, she just told her mom and dad that they would not want to ruin the occasion just because of a tiny dispute. It worked.

Of course, the mom, the dad, and his girlfriend will never get along, but Dory made sure the three will not meet face to face during the occasion. That way, the wedding moved smoothly. No cakes were thrown and no one screamed at each other.

What if the father’s girlfriend is for the long-term?

Bride’s or groom’s father’s girlfriends are not always on the downside. Sometimes there are these girlfriends who are meant or intended to be long time partners.

If that is the case, wedding etiquettes have it that the girlfriend be invited to the wedding. Anyways, she will be a part of the family soon so she should start her function early.

Make sure the ex-wife and the current girlfriend of the bride’s or groom’s father know that each other would attend so both of them will not be surprised. Remember, it is during surprising moments that hot-tempered women act impulsively.

Short-term or flings

If the father’s girlfriend is apparently just a fling or just a short-term relationship, and if the father’s divorce with the mom is not yet through, explain to the father the situation.

Tell him the sanctity of marriage will be symbolized in the ceremony. Tell him, though it may sound not really nice, that bringing in a date especially since he is not yet totally divorced would degrade the solemnity and sanctity of the sacrament.

Explain that whether you dislike his girlfriend or you do like her, people will still see him married to the mother. So he should spare his girlfriend from embarrassment by not bringing her along. The girlfriend might just feel that she is not invited to the wedding anyways.

Fathers should be more understanding because they are assumed to be more mature and wise. Thus, if you are a bride or a groom in those situations, find the strength to deal with the matter with grace and patience. Be diplomatic and talk it out. This will save you your wedding day.

Sending Thank You Notes To Wedding Guests

After the wedding is over and the hot steamy honey moon is almost done, you will have to pause and think about the people who showed up to your wedding day.

Thinking of those people will never be sufficient. Adhering to wedding etiquettes, you should appreciate them and show your appreciation through a material token.

That is where thank you notes come into the picture. Wedding experts and society or lifestyle gurus advise married couples to send out tokens of appreciation or simple thank you notes to their wedding guests at least two weeks after the event.

Thank you notes should or must be sent especially for those friends or guests who showed up with wedding gifts. Wedding etiquette will also have you send thank you notes to people who were not able to come to the wedding, but sent in their gifts, or even to people you have invited but did not show up at all and did not even bother to buy you any gift.

To outdo wedding etiquettes, it would be better if the couple will send out personalized thank you notes. If it would not be too expensive, thank you notes bearing pictures of the couple with the particular guest would be a really, really good gesture of sincere appreciation.

It is not against wedding etiquettes to buy thank you note templates, but be sure to personalize it by adding your personal hand written notes of appreciation. Some couples also prepare thank you notes along with wedding invitations to save time and money.

When you opt to do this, just be sure you order enough or plenty of extra copies to so you will never run out in case too many people show up.

Etiquette when writing thank you notes

A couple of do’s and don’ts will help you get away from troubles that may arise in writing wedding thank you notes. It is not enough that you show up efforts to sincerely thank and appreciate the presence and gifts accorded to your romantic wedding.

Wedding etiquettes have it that thank you notes should be written appropriately. Even the paper used for the notes should be written on white or ivory-colored paper. Some couple prefer to have their thank you notes monogrammed, but others feel its just okay if everything is handwritten.

Here are some guidelines that adhere to wedding etiquettes when it comes to sending out thank you notes:

Remember to send thank you notes to relatives and people who coordinated showers and parties for the both of you. It would be okay if you thank them for the efforts within the same card sent to them for their gifts.

Wedding etiquettes suggest that you appreciate each gift you have received. That means each and every gift should be recognized through its own thank you note. If a person sent you two gifts, for example, send two thank you notes for each gift. The same treatment should be given to gifts received during the shower or even stag party.

Advanced wedding gifts or gifts that arrived before the wedding you must be immediately responded to so you will never have the chance to forget sending out thank you notes for them.

It might be time and money saving, but it is not advisable to send out preprinted thank you notes. Sending preprinted cards will give the person receiving the thank you note the impression that his or her effort or gift was not totally appreciated.

Personalize your thank you note by handwriting the message. Warm but short thank you notes are better than longer but non-personalized or insincere notes. Write your thank you note message in blue or black ink. It is for the simple reason that the colors are far more readable.

It is in accordance to proper wedding etiquettes that you put or include your new return address on every thank you note you have sent. The recipients will greatly appreciate the gesture if he or she is informed or posted of your new and correct address.

Never start the thank you note with the pronoun. To create a good and lasting impression use you as often throughout the note instead of I or me.

Presence of Father- In - Law At The Wedding

• Etiquette that was followed in the past years
• The services he renders towards his daughter
• Expenses borne by him
• The practice and customs that prevail now in the present day.

During the 19th and 20th century the general practice was that the bride's father should bear the expenses of the wedding. Anything and everything should be borne by him.

This was the practice followed and it was the bride's father who decided everything. Right from the person his daughter should get married to, the date on which the marriage should be held, and the manner in which the marriage should take place, all these are decided by the father only.

There might arise a question in minds of everyone as to why the brides approve to this etiquette and give their fathers a chance to decide on their lives. Let us see if the etiquette this is still applicable in this period.

None questioned about this practice those days. Generally a decision taken by the bride's father is very much respected. The brides themselves did not feel the oppression. They firmly believed and had sincere faith that they were taken care.

During that period it was the bride' s father who used to feed his daughter and was much concerned about her and he was the one who guided her through right path , taught her manners, sent her to school , and also taught her the right way of socializing ,speaking and dressing up. Every teenage girl in an upper class family and a middle class is required to finish schooling. This was practiced as the girl will get ready for a married life.

Once the father has made the decision that his daughter should get married he will arrange for a party to be held and announce then that his daughter has reached the age of marriage. All suitors of course would be under the eyes of the father. He will accept that suitor who he feels is the best for his daughter.

Once the father makes the choice of his bride groom and if his daughter accepts, the date on which the engagement will be held also is announced.

Because of this practice of wedding etiquette bride's father will not a single cent from the groom's father. The bride's father would have saved money and he has to celebrate the marriage in the manner his daughter wants.

If he wants to have the wedding celebrated in a grand manner with ball dance, he should have saved money from the time he learnt that his child was a female.

Today things have changed. The cost of living is too high and the brides are now independent. They earn their own living and there is a slight change in the customs. These days the bride's father is not forced to refuse the help rendered by the groom's father. They together can share the wedding expenses.

Marriage expenses are too much these days and that it requires a fortune to be spent by the bride's father. He can also avail the help of his relatives financially and services.

In the present day there is no obligation on part of the bride's father to bear the whole of the wedding expenses. This is most especially when he is got young children to look after. The olden days custom is followed only when the bride's family is well off. Every daughter should be aware of these.

These days even the bride and the bride groom can sponsor the wedding expenses instead of getting help from their parents. The couples these days prepare their wedding ahead now have time to save money for the wedding expenses they have to meet.

But if their parents are willing to offer for the wedding they must be in a position to accept the help offered. The parents would like to be a part of their children’s' wedding and hence they should not deny the help but satisfy them.

Wedding Etiquette Advice For Guests

Many times, people who are invited to weddings end up complaining about the bridegroom and the bride, the outcome of the wedding, the food, the ambiance and all other odds. However, people tend to forget that even they have to follow certain codes of conduct while attending a wedding.

Some of the wedding decorum which ought to be followed by guests attending the ceremony is as discussed below. These would help you brush up your manners so that you can socialize and grace the occasion in a better way.

Immediate response to the invitation is vital.

It is the duty of the guests to inform the bride or the groom about their presence in the wedding as soon as they receive the invite. This would help the couple in getting rid of a whole deal of tension. Some people are too ignorant to respond to the situation while some turn up without notice while some call up just a couple of days prior to the wedding to inform that they would not be able to make it to the wedding.

Wedding Etiquette suggestion 1 says that this is totally unfair. Couples are no more asking their fathers to bear the brunt of the wedding. Instead, they are funding their wedding themselves.

So, it is the duty of the guest to give correct information regarding their presence on the wedding of the couple so that their money does not get wasted. Couples need to be clear of the exact number of people who would be attending the wedding, so that they can fit all the expenses within their budget in the best way possible and also save money wherever possible.

And in case the couple or the bride or the groom have individually added you in the in list for a sit down dinner, they will have to pay for you even if you fail to make it to the wedding.

The above wedding etiquette ought to be followed if you don’t want to be referred to as an uncultured brute. Thus it is very important to acknowledge the invitation from a couple at least two weeks prior to the wedding.

Make sure you dress suitably!

Even though being fashionable is a good thing, this suggestion calls for you to dress according to the type and location of the wedding. This suggestion comes coon after the suggestion asking you to respond to the invitation because, once you decide to attend a wedding, the next thought in your mind would be deciding what you would wear for the occasion.

This Wedding Etiquette helps you in not looking like an impostor in your best friend’s wedding where everyone else has dressed accordingly.

This suggestion on Wedding Etiquette calls for you to wear the most apt dress for the wedding you are going to attend. Women can go with a pretty cocktail dress or a nice Sunday dress for an informal wedding while men can wear their suit. However, the tie can be forgone. The top button can be left open and the sleeves can be rolled up for a more casual look. Just make sure you steer clear of jeans and tank-tops.

Greeting the newlyweds:

The newlyweds will really look forward to your greetings as they would like you to feel happy for them. This is a very kind and pleasant attitude. Just make sure you send a best wishes note to the bride and/or a congratulations note to the bridegroom.