Etiquette that was followed in the past years- The services he renders towards his daughter
- Expenses borne by him
- The practice and customs that prevail now in the present day.
During the 19th and 20th century the general practice was that the bride's father should bear the expenses of the wedding. Anything and everything should be borne by him.
This was the practice followed and it was the bride's father who decided everything. Right from the person his daughter should get married to, the date on which the marriage should be held, and the manner in which the marriage should take place, all these are decided by the father only.
There might arise a question in minds of everyone as to why the brides approve to this etiquette and give their fathers a chance to decide on their lives. Let us see if the etiquette this is still applicable in this period.
None questioned about this practice those days. Generally a decision taken by the bride's father is very much respected. The brides themselves did not feel the oppression. They firmly believed and had sincere faith that they were taken care.
During that period it was the bride' s father who used to feed his daughter and was much concerned about her and he was the one who guided her through right path , taught her manners, sent her to school , and also taught her the right way of socializing ,speaking and dressing up. Every teenage girl in an upper class family and a middle class is required to finish schooling. This was practiced as the girl will get ready for a married life.
Once the father has made the decision that his daughter should get married he will arrange for a party to be held and announce then that his daughter has reached the age of marriage. All suitors of course would be under the eyes of the father. He will accept that suitor who he feels is the best for his daughter.
Once the father makes the choice of his bride groom and if his daughter accepts, the date on which the engagement will be held also is announced.
Because of this practice of wedding etiquette bride's father will not a single cent from the groom's father. The bride's father would have saved money and he has to celebrate the marriage in the manner his daughter wants.
If he wants to have the wedding celebrated in a grand manner with ball dance, he should have saved money from the time he learnt that his child was a female.
Today things have changed. The cost of living is too high and the brides are now independent. They earn their own living and there is a slight change in the customs. These days the bride's father is not forced to refuse the help rendered by the groom's father. They together can share the wedding expenses.
Marriage expenses are too much these days and that it requires a fortune to be spent by the bride's father. He can also avail the help of his relatives financially and services.
In the present day there is no obligation on part of the bride's father to bear the whole of the wedding expenses. This is most especially when he is got young children to look after. The olden days custom is followed only when the bride's family is well off. Every daughter should be aware of these.
These days even the bride and the bride groom can sponsor the wedding expenses instead of getting help from their parents. The couples these days prepare their wedding ahead now have time to save money for the wedding expenses they have to meet.
But if their parents are willing to offer for the wedding they must be in a position to accept the help offered. The parents would like to be a part of their children’s' wedding and hence they should not deny the help but satisfy them.
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